HOW TO OVERCOME HEARTBREAK (OVERCOME EMOTIONAL PAINS AT THE END OF A LOVE RELATIONSHIP)

by Yakubu Anawiyat

Have you been into a romantic relationship that ended before you were ready? You’ve been replaying the entire relationship in your head and you feel your life/world crashing down without your ex by your side. You wake up in the middle of the night wishing you could turn back the hands of time, and have them look in your eyes again knowing obviously that they are gone for good?


Just about everyone experienced a break-up at sometime and a range of different responses of loss and pain is usually triggered when a love relationship ends. You can be yourself again and say ’hard luck’ to the monster that now evades your thoughts and be even a better person for it. Just read on and say goodbye to the past by adhering to the following tips:

1. Accept the fact that you wasted your time loving the wrong person:

Memories are only triggered when you hold the opinion of your ex- being the best thing that could happen to you. If they ever were, they wouldn’t leave you in your current state. They definitely weren’t some perfect beings and had flaws which you discovered in the course of your relationship. Rather than capitalize on the good moments spent with them, bring back these lapses, critically examine such bad habits as: lying, late-nights, untidiness, and if possible, any flaw in their appearances that turned you off about them. Celebrate the fact that you got saved from getting into a mistake.

2. Accept the fact that you have control over your feelings:

At this point, you just have to be realistic and identify the cause of being in love: you can’t be in love unless you love, in other words, you cause your own feelings of being in love and therefore, you have the power to control and change any feelings you have and then, focus on what you want and not what you lost. The ball is in your court: it’s your choice to love that causes your feelings of being in love.

3. Create goals for yourself and get busy:

When you engross yourself with new things, you will have little or no time to ponder over irrelevances such as an ex- so you won’t feel the sting much. There’s definitely something you are good at doing, something you’ll fall in love with along the way, and a very handy one for anyone is writing. Do not make outlandish goals, keep your goals realistic and compel yourself to execute them and your ex- will gradually become history.

4. Let it all out in tears:

When you grieve over it, you get relieved of the stress built up inside of you and this makes you too tired to worry about it later on. You could sleep off right after then and be refreshed when you awake.

5. Regain confidence and love for yourself:

Don’t get wallowed in the memory of your ex- because you are way too good for them. Believe you are your own happiness and you don’t have to be a parasite on someone else to be happy. This will help restore your confidence again which will enable you learn more about you and begin to love you, for it is only when you ensure this, will the person calling you crush get crushed by you someday.

6. Avoid things or places that remind you of your ex

Of course, your aim is to kill your ex- from out of your life so you can move on, so shirk things or places that will bring back memories and make you sad. Avoid romantic, sad songs as this can make you pathetically upset, change those routines that remind you of them, delete mails, messages, pack away gifts, souvenirs from sight or even burn them so you don’t have to remember the past every time you see them.

7. Try new ways of coping:

Do not see this as an opportunity to indulge on a self-pity venture or to despise on the idea of love, rather, open up to new ways that will enhance your recovery, get out with your friends, surround yourself with eligible singles and open up to new opportunities but of course, you should have learnt a lesson from your past.

Life is so simple when you know what you are doing. Call it self-punishment or whatever, but, if you must overcome that odd feelings of pains without injuries; bitterness without ever tasting bile; anger without provocation; fear without cause, and have your life back, then you must think in an extremely different direction to be happy agai, But above all, learn from your mistakes!
Life is a game where the best and luckiest players win!